I’d like to have a flat stomach but I’d prefer to be a dragon.
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when girls press their whole body against you when they hug, it means they like you a lot. also, they’re measuring your body to determine how long it will take them to eat your flesh, a technique shared by boa constrictors
as a girl, I can confirm this is 100% true
girls masturbate girls grow body hair girls have stretch marks girls get acne girls poop girls burp girls have all normal body functions that men do stop stigmatising all of it im so mad
guys get sad guys can bake guys break down guys want to be held guys cry guys scream into their pillow guys can have a hard time being manly so if you want us to see what you physically do as acceptable don’t mock us for being emotional
I love this
i’ve thought of some cute questions
- Sunrise or sunset?
- Are you mentally ill?
- Are you physically ill?
- What is the most expensive thing you have bought?
- Do you have a job?
- Are you in school?
- Are you a dropout?
- Are you in college?
- Introvert or extrovert?
- What do you think when you look at your body?
- What have others said when they look at your body?
- Do you have a particular song that you feel deeply?
- Talk about a time in your life where you have felt most alive?
- Are you confident wearing a bikini?
- Can you look people in the eyes while talking?
- Has anything terrible happened to you?
- Has anything wonderful happened to you?
- Favorite part of your personality?
- Least favorite part of your personality?
- Favorite part of your body?
- Least favorite part of your body?
- Favorite quote?
- Do you have friendships with all genders?
- Do you have a good relationship with your father?
- Do you have a good relationship with your mother?
- Do you have a good relationship with your siblings?
- Have you ever been hurt physically or mentally by a family member?
- Have you ever had a near death experience?
- Do you know anyone who has taken their own life?
- Have you ever tried to take your own life?
- Biggest lie you have told?
- Do you follow any conspiracies?
- Do you believe in a New World Order?
- Do you respect your government and the way your country is run?
- Is there currently any strife in your country?
- Have you ever been displaced within your country?
- Are your friendships healthy?
- Are you currently fighting with a friend?
- Are you jealous of a friend? Why?
- Do you believe in the Illuminati?
- Do you think any celebrities are associated with the Illuminati? Who?
- How can people tell you are nervous?
- How can people tell you are sad?
- Do you ever express your true feelings?
- Regrets in your life?
- Achievements in your life?
- What did people say about you in school?
- What did you say about people in school?
- Is there something you have never told anyone?
- Have you committed an illegal act?
- If you had two days to spend one million dollars how would you spend it?
- What were your aspirations at age 5, 10, 15, 18?
- Describe your first kiss? Was it how you imagined?
- Growing up were you in a wealthy, average, or low income household?
- Are you from a broken marriage?
- Have you been raised by a solo parent?
- Do you know both your parents?
- What colour eyes, hair and skin do you have?
- Have you abused drugs or alcohol?
- What languages can you speak?
- Do you conform to your societies standards?
- Do you cry often?
- Do you tell people what you think of them?
- Are you comfortable accepting compliments?
- Are you comfortable giving compliments?
- Is any mental illness hindering your life?
- Is any physical illness hindering your life?
- Do you keep up with current events?
- What’s the latest news in the world you have heard/read?
- What have you done today?
- Do you sleep well?
- Do you sleep badly?
- Have you ever hurt anyone because you were hurting?
- Has anyone ever hurt you because they were hurting?
- Have you ever had to end a friendship/relationship? Why?
- Have you ever stopped someone from hurting themselves?
- Has anyone ever stopped you from hurting yourself?
- Do you like your laugh?
- Are you preparing for an apocalypse? And what kind?
- Do you have any funny family stories?
- Are you religious?
- Do you like to watch true crime shows or movies?
- Are you interested in cults?
- Would you like to raise a family in your country?
- List some things you wanted in your childhood but never got?
- Is there a large age gap between you and a sibling?
- Are you from a blended family?
- Do you believe in marriage? Why/Why not?
- What is the nicest thing anyone has said to you?
- Do you keep a journal?
- Would anyone be hurt by reading it?
- Do you have children?
- Have you been pregnant?
- List your favorite movies?
- List your favorite people?
- Talk about the birthmarks and scars on your body?
- Do you look after yourself?
- Do you put yourself or others first?
- Are you happy today?
- Are you loved?
hey man ur body does a really good job of regulating and maintaining itself… no homeo…
I’m about to have a fun afternoon.
So my trainer’s bf cheated on her. She broke up with him. He’s holding her stuff hostage until she agrees to talk with him. Which she refuses.
She trains; for free mind you; three college linebackers, a college wrestler, two martial artists, a body builder, and… wait for it…. a Navy seal. We’re gonna go get her shit for her.
This should make for an interesting story.
So everyone who commented on this being like the avengers, you are absolutely right. That’s what all of us had in our heads as we were rolling over to dude’s house. But I’m very proud to say, this ended without violence.
Arrival:
So the super friends all jumped into one of the linebacker’s explorer and headed over to dude’s house. Ok the squad: you all know me, but the other martial artist is a little wirey hapkido guy, the linebackers are all giants (an estimated combined weight of I’d say 750-800lbs), the wrestler looks like an escaped gorilla, then the navy seal looks like your average guy but something about him is unsettling. Really unsettling. Unfortunately, the body builder had to work. Anyway, we send the Hapkido guy and the wrestler to the door first and dude answers, screams at them, and then slams the door in their face. Then the giant linebackers head over and they ring the door bell again. Lo and behold, he was much more polite, but still denied access. Finally, me and the seal join the fray. I casually make my way towards the front of the group, but the seal decides to CLIMB THE BANISTER. We all just turned and started at him completely shocked when dude answers the door. He looks at this weird mismatched group of relatively threatening individuals and one guy perched on his banister like batman. He was like “FINE. Go take what you’re looking for.”
Retrieval:
So we’re all walking through the house gathering what we think are her things and putting them into two boxes. Mind you. We are completely guessing. We didn’t even tell her we were coming, therefore we had no list of items.The only one really being productive was Hapkido, who was legitimately looking for stuff. The linebackers were just randomly picking up furniture, turning it over, and putting it back down. Just showing off how strong they were. In case the numbers game wasn’t enough, I guess they were letting him know they could break him if they wanted to. The seal was just shadowing dude in his own house. Walking behind him, not saying much, just being creepy. Then there’s me. Who was causing general mischief…. He said to take what I was looking for, that’s what I was looking for. Ahaha and the wrestler made a fricken sandwich. Because “you guys look like you have it under control, and I’m a sucker for egg salad.” We were in and out in 15 minutes.
Delivery:
So the autobots rolled out and headed towards homegirl’s spot. She was conveniently outside when we rolled up. We got out and she was like, how do you all even know each other. The truth is, we don’t. She sent us all an email once and didn’t blind copy us all. She vented to all of us about dude holding onto her stuff and we started emailing and that was that. We told her that we went to see her ex. “OMG what did you say to him?” Nothing. We’re not messenger boys. We’re delivery boys. And we gave her her boxes of stuff. She went through the first box and said that was most of her stuff. Then she got to my box and asked “Wtf is all that shit.” So I explained that I took all the batteries out of his remote controls, his deodorant, the light bulb out of his master closet, every pair of dress socks that I could find, the laces out of his running shoes, and all the toilet paper in the house. The guys just looked at me and kind of nodded like they were impressed. She then unexpectedly started CRYING and thanked us. So you have this group of meat heads all standing awkwardly with this weeping trainer. It was quiet for a second when the seal was like “So…. chipoltle?” And we all got burrito bowls.
What a great day.
This is literally the most beautiful and thrilling tale. Start to finish.
I am almost in tears I am laughing so hard. This is beautiful. I can’t believe you took all the toilet paper. I’m dying. Help. It sounds like the start of a joke: two martial artists, a wrestler, two linebackers and a Navy Seal walk into a Chipotle.
I have reblogged this a dozen times and I will reblog it a dozen more.
maybe the little bruises and cuts that show up on your body seemingly out of nowhere are actually little injuries that happened to your soulmate and you get the same marks on your skin as them
write a book
do a movie
i love that stage of being tipsy where youre completely coherent and know exactly whats going on but you feel so loose and free at the same time and your typing skills blow but you can feel the blood flowing throughout your entire body and its just warm and fuzzy and nice and amazing
- People: will herondale is a devil-may-care bad boy who would be hella rough in bed
- Will: *actually asks tessa how to undo corset*
- People: jem carstairs is an innocent, gentle and sweet boy who would never even touch a lady
- Jem: *tears corset in half right off tessa's body*
Rape Escape
- Easy and very effective
- Requires nothing but your body
- Includes attack
Very useful to know, pass and share please.
Worth watching
I don’t mean to impose a personal favour on you guys, but I really would like to ask that everyone who follows me reblog this.
I don’t think I made it very clear but last month I was sexually assaulted by someone who I thought was my friend (I don’t want to talk about it don’t ask), and it’s… really fucked with my head.
Had I known this a month ago I would have been able to get away.
So, essentially, I’m really pleading with you to reblog this so everyone who follows you doesn’t get stuck in the same position I was with no way out.
I mean again I don’t want the point of this to be my sob story or whatever but if you could reblog this it would seriously mean a lot